If you are counting the seconds until the new big screen remake of American Gladiators hits a theater near you, please seek immediate medical attention or the nearest clergyman for guidance.
Screenwriter Peter Iliff has developed a script for the project. The TV tough guys and gals will be turned into "superheroes" in the new movie.
That's it? Isn't that obvious? What the hell else were they going to be?
- A bunch of muscleheaded meatwads pretending to be British nannies in order to see their estranged children.
- Sinewy wimp-eaters who must constantly pull a bus with their teeth at a speed of at least 30 mph or it will explode.
Or perhaps the storyline could go something like this: A ruthless mob boss looking to bump off a key witness traveling overseas plants twelve Gladiators injected with anger inducing pheromones on his plane and unleashes them over the ocean.
Feel free to share your own ideas for this movie in the comments below.
I thought that Cheech and Chong and Ann Coulter's gloves-off, no holds barred showdown/friendly exchange of ideas was the weirdest match up of all time. I officially stand corrected.
Rapper 50 Cent's posse and sportcaster Marv Albert got into a little backstage tussle on the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live and no one seems to know exactly why. If only we had someone at the scene who could describe what was happened "blow by blow" and then utter some kind of high energy word or phrase when something really exciting happens.
Apparently, a security guard just announced that Marv was walking down the hall the same time that 50 Cent and his crowd and the two threw down. Whatever the cause, it's unfortunate that it happened but more unfortunate for 50 Cent. If Marv Albert can walk away from your security entourage, maybe you need to consider some corporate restructuring.
Lately, Detroit Tiger all-star outfielder Curtis Granderson has been in the news because he might be joining the New York Yankees. However, if Major League Baseball free agency doesn't make him a household name, television might. Granderson has an idea for a reality series that's being shopped around now and it's not like anything else other athletes have pitched.
Granderson's series is called Stadium Secrets and it will be like History Channel's Cities of the Underworld. In fact, it might be suited to the History Channel. Granderson would host the show and lead viewers into the inner recesses and hidden passages of famous stadia around the world -- although it'll probably start with American locations.
Things are not going well for Notre Dame head football coach Charlie Weis. He's in the midst of a rough season, not likely to make a bowl game, and rumors are rampant that he will be fired after a five-year-term that has not brought the university a national championship. The number one name on the lips of everyone to replace Weis is ESPN analyst, and Super Bowl-winning head coach, Jon Gruden. However, this morning ESPN locked up Gruden with an extension on his current contract which expands his responsibilities as an ESPN talking head.
In addition to sticking with the ESPN Monday Night Football color commentary role -- in which he's pretty much been Mr. Enthusiasm -- Gruden will be working the NFL Draft, the Pro Bowl, Super Bowl week, and on radio the Rose Bowl and the BCS game. Basically, if Gruden is talking football, he's doing it on ESPN air.
"Did you hear who's going to play during the Super Bowl halftime show?"
"No, who?"
"That's what I just said. Who."
"No, seriously. Which is the band that's going to appear?"
"It's Who."
"I'm not talking proper English. Which band will be on CBS's halftime show on February 7 at Landshark Stadium in Miami?"
"The Who -- you know, Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend. 'Tommy, can you hear me?'"
"Oh! Why didn't you just say that!"
Okay, I couldn't resist the nod to Abbott and Costello's Who's On First. But the fact is that Sports Illustrated has spread the word that The Who will star in the Super Bowl big, overblown half-time pageant. This follows the safe pattern the NFL has been employing since the Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake costume malfunction; that is, stick with classic rock stars who are guaranteed to do their hits and not disrobe. That's why we've had Prince, The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and now The Who. All superstar acts, no controversy.
We don't usually have open threads about sporting events here at TV Squad, but last night was the big finale of the 2009 World Series of Pokeron ESPN, and I wanted to post this for two reasons. One, to find out what you thought of the exciting battle between logger Darvin Moon and 21 year-old Joe Cada, and two to find out how many people are actually still interested in watching poker on television.
Poker was massive on TV a few years ago, but is it still?
Part of me is surprised that this deal took this long to happen. But when you watch the recent crop of new shows on the Chortle Network (with the exception of Tosh.0), it really shouldn't surprise anyone.
Comedy Central has ordered a half-hour scripted pilot based on the Onion's Sports Network. The OSN is part of the popular satirical magazine's online TV news network that launched a little under a year ago.
This isn't the first time the network has tried to do a satirical sports show. Comedy Central also shot a pilot for a Daily Show-esque sports show called Sports Central that died in the pilot stage. This incarnation sounds much more promising since it will spoof not only sports figures and stories, but also the tone and style of sports media. Sweet sassy molassey, this is gonna rock!
Considering the incredible overnight ratings that Fox got for Game Six of the World Series, you might think I'm crazy to suggest that the network would be rooting for the New York Yankees last night to beat the Philadelphia Phillies, but I have evidence. All through the game, Fox was promoting Fringe and Bones, urging viewers to tune in tomorrow night -- tonight -- for new episodes. Why would the network be sending that message when there was a possibility of a Game Seven?
I try to cover professional wrestling here on TV Squad only when something happens that hints at a ratings spike, a celebrity tie-in or a television publicity war. Today, we have news that could score a pin on all three fronts, "Brother!"
Hulk Hogan (in yellow, right), the 80s legend that put WWF WWE on the mat map, announced this week that he's returning to the squared circle and joining the ranks of Spike TV's TNA Wrestling. It's a big step up in exposure for the Florida-based promotion as it struggles to pull away a little market share away from Vince McMahon's Connecticut Death Grip.
While the WWE has either live or taped shows on various cable outlets Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday nights (with occasional weekend specials on NBC), TNA has used the last couple of years to build an ever-growing following in Spike's Thursday night schedule.
Fox will use football this Sunday to help tall, blue aliens take over our televisions.
On November 1, Fox is shooting for the "world's biggest live trailer viewing" when it airs the new preview of James Cameron's Avatar live on TV and in the Dallas Cowboys' home park on the world's largest video display -- the Cowboy Stadium's Diamond Vision Screen before the Lone Star State's heroes take on the Seattle Seahawks.
A Fox press release explains that the Fox Sports NFL Sunday pregame show will present the new trailer live on the network. Meanwhile, those Cowboy fans still sober enough at noon to enjoy the brief glimpse of the sci-fi epic will take it in on a screen larger than some Far Eastern countries.
Putting the TV network's football viewing figures to work is the kind of bold step Fox needs to take to publicize Cameron's $300 million dollar movie. Though obviously ambitious and technically groundbreaking, special previews of the 3D fantasy flick left some viewers less than thrilled. While the film will be 3D in theaters, the trailer will stick to a simpler 2D TV image for the big event.
Both the World Series and the start of the NBA season brought in big numbers for their respective networks this week. The MLB faceoff between the Yankees and the Phillies score Fox a 6.3 rating share or 19.3 million viewers in their timeslot. The NBA's doubleheader opener on Tuesday helped TNT score a record-breaking 3.7 million viewers.
Stories like these make me long for the Yoda-like wisdom of baseball's Yogi Berra. Just think of the grammatically incorrect gems he could conjure.
"People watch sports because it's easier than playing it."
"Sports has a big following because so few people follow it."
I have to admit that, when the Yankees are in the playoffs, most of my regular TV watching gets obliterated. Thankfully, DVRs and online TV sites (and, in the mid-'90s, VCRs) help me catch up. For instance, even though I have to review Cougar Town, I'll likely won't watch it until tomorrow morning, on either ABC.com or Hulu. Why? World Series game one, of course. Nothing, not even the Yankees being behind 22-0, is going to tear me away from FOX at 9:30, when I should be watching Cougar Town on ABC.
Which leads me to something that I've been wondering lately: Didn't networks used to program more reruns against the World Series? Tonight, NBC has a lineup of new episodes, as does ABC (except for Charlie Brown in Hank's slot, for understandable reasons). Tomorrow, all three of FOX's competitors have new episodes.
During the broadcast of the Minnesota vs. Ohio State college football game last weekend, ESPN analyst Bob Griese put his foot in his mouth. While promoting an upcoming NASCAR event, a graphic was shown listing the drivers.
When Griese's fellow broadcast Chris Spielman questioned why NASCAR driver Juan Pablo Montoya wasn't on the list, Griese replied that he was "out having a taco."
Oops! ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz has announced that Bob Griese has been suspended for a week. Griese has apologized for the ill-attempt at humor. Krulewitz revealed that ESPN had spoken to Griese and "he understands the comment was inappropriate."
Fantasy football is a tricky thing. You either love it or you hate it and that largely depends on whether you're good or bad at it. For the most part, the same can be said about FX's newest comedy The League. When it's good, it is good, but when it's bad... well, you get the picture.
The show, which premieres tomorrow night, Thursday 10/29, at 10:30 p.m. after It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, is FX's first solid attempt to produce a lasting companion piece to Sunny and, given some of its predecessors (like Starvedor Testees), it'd be easy to write The League off. But, like a two-minute drill that gradually picks up steam, The League might actually go... all... the... way.
I thought it was a rule that TV stations covering sporting events (at least in baseball) didn't show drunks, streakers, and other morons who jump on the playing field in the middle of a game? Last night FOX happily showed a guy at the Yankees/Angels game who somehow got into the waterfall area of the outfield and went for a swim. Well, he laid down in the water.
I think we can assume the guy got at least one beer from the concession stand.
If you are counting the seconds until the new big screen remake of American Gladiators hits a theater near you, please seek immediate medical attention or the nearest clergyman for guidance. 
I thought that 
Lately, Detroit Tiger all-star outfielder Curtis Granderson has been in the news because he might be joining the New York Yankees. However, if 
Things are not going well for Notre Dame head football coach Charlie Weis. He's in the midst of a rough season, not likely to make a bowl game, and rumors are rampant that he will be fired after a five-year-term that has not brought the university a national championship. The number one name on the lips of everyone to replace Weis is ESPN analyst, and Super Bowl-winning head coach, Jon Gruden. However, this morning 
"Did you hear who's going to play during the 
We don't usually have open threads about sporting events here at TV Squad, but last night was the big finale of the 
Part of me is surprised that this deal took this long to happen. But when you watch the recent crop of new shows on the Chortle Network (with the exception of Tosh.0), it really shouldn't surprise anyone. 
I try to cover professional wrestling here on TV Squad only when something happens that hints at a ratings spike, a celebrity tie-in or a television publicity war. Today, we have news that could score a pin on all three fronts, "Brother!"
Fox will use football this Sunday to help tall, blue aliens take over our televisions.
Both 
During the broadcast of the Minnesota vs. Ohio State college football game last weekend, ESPN analyst Bob Griese put his foot in his mouth. While promoting an upcoming NASCAR event, a graphic was shown listing the drivers. 
Mike Henry and Daryl Hall on a Cleveland Show Thanksgiving
The TV Squad Podcast: The Prisoner, '80s TV, soap news and more
Let's talk about spoilers ...
